GOD IS KILLING ME

John 12:24 AMP

" I assure you, most solemnly I tell you, Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains [just one grain; it never becomes more but lives] by itself alone. But if it dies, it produces many others andyields a rich harvest."

The title of this book is meant to provoke the reader enough to examine what this book is about; the book chronicles some of the details of my faith walk and asks the question, "Who is God and what does God require of you?" Despite what we think, the antithesis of what you believe is true. There is an inherent desire in each of us to know the answer to this question. Until you face the climactic battle with who you are and what your purpose is the war within will continue with the ideas and thoughts expressed in this book. I wrote this book to provoke the thoughts and feelings of both believers and nonbelievers alike.Unintentionally, I set out on a path of personal disclosure and spiritual discovery as an introspective journey through my stages of faith from "a church-goer" to a becoming a "believer," and there is a difference that can fully be defined by the role that God has in one's life. Is he revered as a selfish, authoritative ruler who controls us with fear? Contrary to my experiential realities which I have experienced in my twenty-four-year walk in relationship versus religion. Experiencing great tragedies and triumphs and some extraordinary moments of revelation within my personal, professional, and spiritual walk. The primary theme which is prevalent throughout continues to be "the evidential presence of God's hand throughout the phases of my life which corrected me, directed me, connected me, and convicted me to submit to the crucifying of the mind of the flesh.

-- Patrick B. Parker