

At Dark, I Become Loathsome
Monthly Membership
Cancel anytime!
Memberships will renew every month
One credit every month on renewal
You can spend 1 credit every month to get an audiobook
“Blacker than the blood of a fountain pen and unapologetically queer…[A] unique, relentlessly depressive, strangely sexual, and extremely violent novel about how pain changes people.”
The New York Times Book Review
A Kobo Pick for Best Books of the Month in Science Fiction, Fantasy & Horror
A CinemaChords Pick of Top 10 Most Anticipated Horror Novels for 2025
An Audible Pick of Most Anticipated Listens of 2025
A ThriftBooks Pick of 11 New Horror Books Coming Out in January and February
A BookTrib Pick of The Chill Quill: Witches, Hauntings, and Dark Thrills That Will Send Shivers Down Your Spine
A Den of Geek Pick of the Biggest Horror Books of 2025
A B&N Reads Pick of the Best Horror of 2025 (So Far)
An OverDrive Pick of the Best Books of 2025 (So Far)
A 2025 Library Journal Best Book of the Year
From Eric LaRocca—Bram Stoker Award–nominated and Splatterpunk Award–winning author of Things Have Gotten Worse Since We Last Spoke—comes At Dark, I Become Loathsome, a grim yet gentle, horrifying yet hopeful, intense tale of death, trauma, and love.
“If you’re reading this, you’ve likely thought that the world would be a better place without you.”
A single line of text, glowing in the darkness of the internet. Written by Ashley Lutin, who has often thought the same—and worse—in the years since his wife died and his young son disappeared. But the peace of the grave is not for him—it’s for those he can help. Ashley has constructed a peculiar ritual for those whose desire to die is at war with their yearning to live a better life.
Struggling to overcome his own endless grief, one night Ashley finds connection with Jinx—a potential candidate for Ashley’s next ritual—who spins a tale both revolting and fascinating. Thus begins a relationship that traps the two men in an ever-tightening spiral of painful revelations, where long-hidden secrets are dragged, kicking and screaming, into the light.
Only through pain can we find healing. Only through death can we find new life.
Praise
Ratings & Reviews
Review guidelines0% of listeners recommend it of readers recommend it
Be the first to rate this audiobook Be the first to rate this book
No one has rated or reviewed At Dark, I Become Loathsome yet. Listened to it? Would you recommend it? No one has rated or reviewed At Dark, I Become Loathsome yet. Read it? Would you recommend it?
Rate and review this book, just like in the Downpour app.
Listened to this one? Read this one?
Share what you thought and help others decide.
Sign in to write a reviewYour account can't post reviews right now.
No written reviews yet
0 listeners have rated this audiobook, but no one has written about it yet. Tell others what you thought.
Sign in to write a review