Houses of the Holy

It's ok. We can say it. Humans got shafted in the last apocalypse. Not exactly breaking news. But that doesn't mean that we should be turning the apocalypse into a DIY project.

What we thought was going to be a victory lap filled with take out food and putting our feet up in Messina turned, with a single gas station vision, into having an unexpected addition to the Charlie circus on wheels.

A single phone call summoned us all back to West Virginia like a bunch of seagulls descending on an unattended bag of Doritos at the beach. But now that we were all together, everyone had a chance to weigh in on the various shitstorms in our respective zip codes.

Which is how we ended up hunting for an MIA Balance Keeper and a mysterious angelic power. We don't know if either one will be happy to see us when we find them but as Bane always says, "That's a twenty miles from now problem."

What isn't a problem for down the road is the rebirth of Sister Smile's cannibal tribe, this time gathered under the symbol of a bloody crescent moon and backed by a gatekeeper god. And they aren't the only ones coming out to play. The Horsemen's old stable hands have dealt themselves in and I have a feeling they're not going to fold until we make them.

Now old alerts set up during the last apocalypse are sounding off and things are starting to look a lot like bloodbath. And our only hope is hunting down a tequila-swilling Balance Keeper who might be the key to stopping the shitstorm if we can just wrap her in bubble wrap and stash her somewhere safe.

Add in a pair of killer emus, an ill-fated trip to Costco, a hippie with a Weird Al fixation, and an endless supply of glitter and the end is just about inevitable. I just didn't expect the venue to be this packed.

It feels like every day the pile of problems just keeps getting bigger. But in this family, that just means everyone picks up a shovel and digs in.

And right now, it feels like we're definitely going to need a bigger shovel.