Relationship: Creating True Closeness with Others

In this 2024 conversation with Travis Glen Sebera, author Terry Real advises us to shift our view of relationship away from a zero-sum situation where one person wins and the other loses, one is right and the other wrong. He gives us examples of how to conduct skillful and effective communication in order to get off the treadmill of repetitive fights with our partners. He shares, “Who’s right and who’s wrong becomes irrelevant…Once we start living relationally the language changes, the thinking changes, and even the tools change.” It is all about getting past our knee-jerk reactions and tapping into our wiser, more collaborative self. 

Terry Real shares how our relationships are our biospheres. We are not above them, we are in them, we breathe them. "We are a social species, born to be relational. Relational connection is our birthright and it’s how we function best as a species…New research reports that the lack of social connection is the equivalent of smoking a pack and a half of cigarettes a day.” He is the author of:

• I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression (Scribner 1998)
• How Can I Get Through to You? Closing the Gap Between Men and Women (Simon & Schuster 2002)
• The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Know to Make Love Work (Ballantine Books 2008)
• Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship (Rodale Books 2022)

Interview Date: 2/14/2024     Tags: Terry Real, hyper-individualism, toxic individualism, relational mindfulness, Relational Life Therapy, RLT, disharmony, repair, James Framo, marriage, patriarchy, non-binary, false binary, Thomas Hübl, wounded child, brain, interconnectedness, Relationship, Personal Transformation, Psychology