Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life

Now revised and expanded! Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life is a no-nonsense guide for anyone who has ever been cheated on and needs advice aimed not at saving their relationship after infidelity—but at saving their sanity. 

In the infidelity literature, cheaters get all the glory—their unmet needs, commitment challenges, and love triangle drama. They are the glamorous taboo breakers, star-crossed lovers, and rebels against the hegemonic forces of monogamy. The betrayed partners, by contrast, are left out of the discourse. When they are mentioned, it’s to discuss how they failed to enchant and must “own their part” in their partner’s infidelity. 

In this revised and expanded edition featuring a new preface, testimonials, letters from readers, and a brand-new chapter about polyamory, Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life puts the attention on the cheated-upon and champions self-respect. It doesn’t assume reconciliation or buy the victim-blaming narrative that we compel people to cheat on us with our inadequacies (or that we can win them back by being nicer). Instead, it places responsibility for affairs squarely on cheaters and their crappy character. It also has a good time lampooning the absurd self-centeredness of cheating.

Building on the writings of her popular infidelity blog ChumpLady.com, Schorn offers a masterclass on how to decode manipulation, respond to the stupid sh*t cheaters say, disarm your fears and avoid rookie mistakes after being cheated on, protect yourself, and fight back. And of course, how to rebuild yourself after betrayal so you can get ready for your better life ahead.