Will I Hate Myself?

What if chasing your dream didn't lead to fame or fortune-but to something far more honest?

At 36, Pat Treuer had the life people post about: six-figure job, corporate status, an apartment with a skyline view-and a quiet voice in his head screaming, "Is this it?" So he did what any rational person would do: he walked away from it all to tell jokes in bars for drink tickets and half-interested crowds.

Then came the pandemic. Pat launched a comedy business that brought in a million dollars-then reinvested every penny into a YouTube series that made exactly zero. Not a typo. Zero.

By 42, he found himself not chasing the next punchline, but rebuilding a life from scratch. On purpose, this time.

Will I Hate Myself is a hilariously raw, painfully honest memoir about risking everything, failing gloriously, and learning to create a life that actually fits. It's part comedy crash reel, part spiritual sledgehammer.

If you've ever wondered whether you waited too long to change your life, felt stuck in a "successful" version of someone else's dream, or asked yourself, "Is this all there is?"-this book is for you.

Through panic attacks, bad gigs, and moments of absurd grace, Pat offers more than laughs-he offers proof that it's never too late to go off-script and start telling the truth.

This isn't about making it. It's about making it count.