Lionizing

By Edgar Allan Poe
Unabridged
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Lion-izing (A Tale): I am - that is to say, I was, a great man. But I am neither the author of Junius, nor the man in the mask - for my name is Thomas Smith, and I was born somewhere in the city of Fum-Fudge. The first action of my life was the taking hold of my nose with both hands. My mother saw this and called me a genius. My father wept for joy, and bought me a treatise on Nosology.