Once More, For Dishonor

The Philippines, 1609.

A bad ship. Worse weather. A crew of morons. And the Dutch.

Patrick Mallory wanted a quiet life of scholarship, translation, and avoiding situations involving cannons. Instead, his knowledge of Dutch gets him dragged aboard La Corona de Espinas que Carga La Más Gloriosa y Sagrada Cabeza de Nuestro Salvador Inmortal Rey de Reyes Señor de Señores Jesucristo Dios Nuestro, a Spanish vessel with a name longer than its supply list and a crew held together by prayer, pride, and questionable seamanship.

Their mission sounds simple enough: race a Dutch ship to an unnamed island and claim it for Spain.

Unfortunately, the Dutch are already on the move. The ship is barely cooperating. The weather has opinions. The crew includes a stubborn Basque captain, a sheltered governor's daughter, a terrifying swordsman known as El Saltador, and Jacinta, an Ilongga interpreter who may be the only person aboard with a functioning sense of reality.

Worst of all, the island they intend to claim is already inhabited by Muslim settlers loyal to the Sultan of Sulu, who have their own thoughts on European paperwork, imperial ambition, and strangers arriving with flags.

Once More, For Dishonor is a satirical historical adventure set in the Spanish colonial Philippines, told through the sharp, self-preserving voice of an Irish narrator who would very much like history to stop happening near him.

For listeners who enjoy historical fiction, Age of Sail misadventures, colonial absurdity, dry wit, bad decisions, and the terrible sound of competent people being ignored.