{"product_id":"book-tik9","title":"Come Back to Bed","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDear grouchy neighbor:\u003c\/b\u003e I’m considering your offer and need clarification before proceeding. Despite being an artist, I think you know that as a busy New Yorker, I am also practical and straightforward.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThat said, I need to make sure you know that this could never turn into anything serious. I don’t care if you’re trying to get over your ex-girlfriend or hoping she’ll eventually want to get back together with you—just don’t project your messy feelings about her onto me.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBecause, despite your resemblance to an underwear model, I won’t fall in love with you. Ever.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYours, with clear boundaries,\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBernadette\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003ep.s. I’d like to be very clear that regardless of whether or not we do this, nothing will change my feelings for your dog (and we both know she loves me too).\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cb\u003eDear nutty neighbor:\u003c\/b\u003e As a lawyer, I must clarify that I never made an offer. It was a suggestion regarding the possibility of a non-permanent, no-strings-attached arrangement between two consenting adults whose beds are separated by a wall.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAs a man who shares your disdain for messy feelings, I applaud your confidence in your ability to not fall for me. Hold onto that.  I’d also like to make it clear that I don’t care if you want to get over your crush on your boss or if you still hope he’ll realize you’re the woman of his dreams. That said, I definitely wasn’t thinking about my ex-girlfriend when I kissed you in the laundry room, and I’m quite sure you weren’t thinking about your boss.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAs a dog daddy, I’m glad you’re so taken with my girl, but if you try to steal her, I will get all Liam Neeson up in your pretty face.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAs a busy New Yorker, I think clear boundaries are hot, and I have one hour free to blow your mind tonight. So turn off Netflix, put down that glass of wine, and let’s do this.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eYours for now,\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eMatt\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dreamscape","offers":[{"title":"Audiobook","offer_id":50139129119024,"sku":"BDtik9","price":34.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0879\/2784\/9264\/files\/tik9-cover.jpg?v=1760076473","url":"https:\/\/downpour.com\/products\/book-tik9","provider":"Downpour","version":"1.0","type":"link"}