{"product_id":"book-m3mr","title":"Love Me, But From Over There","description":"\u003cp\u003eATTENTION, WALKING RED FLAG:\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDo you panic when someone texts, “I miss you”?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eHave you ghosted someone while still liking all their Instagram posts?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eDoes the idea of an actual healthy relationship make you want to jump out of a moving vehicle?\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eCONGRATULATIONS. YOU MAY BE ENTIRELY INCAPABLE OF LOVE. But don’t worry—this book is not here to fix you. Instead, it will celebrate your terrible dating habits with:\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eA step-by-step guide to self-sabotaging any relationship before it gets serious.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe “Should I Text Them Back?” flowchart (spoiler: you won’t).\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAn exclusive Avoidant Attachment Bingo (check off “Lost interest the second they liked me back” and “Developed an existential crisis over a ‘Good morning’ text”).\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eTactical escape routes for when someone actually wants commitment (options include moving to another city overnight and faking a sudden spiritual journey).\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThis book will NOT help you become emotionally available.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eIt will NOT guide you toward a loving, fulfilling relationship.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eBut it WILL make you laugh at your own dysfunction while you continue ruining every romantic opportunity life gives you.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eFor entertainment purposes only. If you actually follow this book’s advice, you should be legally required to carry a warning label.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Author's Republic","offers":[{"title":"Audiobook","offer_id":49719822680368,"sku":"BDm3mr","price":6.08,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0879\/2784\/9264\/files\/719915-m3mr-Square.jpg?v=1744423249","url":"https:\/\/downpour.com\/products\/book-m3mr","provider":"Downpour","version":"1.0","type":"link"}