{"product_id":"book-fn3c","title":"The Newly Witch Game","description":"\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eIt's all fun and games until someone throws a dirty jumper rollup and you lose out in the Cornhole tournament of life.\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eAccording to Baba Yoscarybutt, it's time for me to witch up or step back down into the Cornholio minor leagues. While Cornhole is definitely not my beanbag, I can't stand to lose.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align: start\"\u003eI don't want to be the next Baba Yaga. I'm doing just peachy as the Shifter Wanker who heals the clumsy idiots of Assjacket, West Virginia. I love my life. My werewolf mate is hotter than asphalt in August, my twins are adorable, my dad and brother rock, and I have real friends for the first time in my life.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align: start\"\u003eHowever, when my evil nemesis, Medusa Jones, steps up to throw a floppy bag and steal the title of Future Baba Yaga from me, all bets are off.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align: start\"\u003eI will challenge the nasty piece of work to win back the job I didn't want in the first place.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align: start\"\u003eWith Sassy and Fuc*ing Derrick by my side, I will finally own my destiny. Of course, Fuc*ing Derrick is prone to meltdowns and Sassy is trying to learn Canadian, but one deals with the floppy bags they've been dealt and tosses them anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp style=\"text-align: start\"\u003eIt will be dangerous.\u003cbr\u003eIt will be \u003cem\u003ecornfusing.\u003c\/em\u003e\u003cbr\u003eIt will be fashionably disastrous.\u003cbr\u003eIt will be televised on the magical Charm Channel.\u003cbr\u003eWhatever. A few four baggers, a couple of woodies, a Bigfoot and spell or two should do the trick.\u003cbr\u003eThe future of the magical Universe is on the line and I'm the only one who can save us.\u003cbr\u003eMay the Goddess help us all.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Robyn Peterman","offers":[{"title":"Audiobook","offer_id":49364933148976,"sku":"BDfn3c","price":14.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Audio CD","offer_id":49364933247280,"sku":"ZEfn3c","price":35.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Audio MP3-CD","offer_id":49364933345584,"sku":"ZMfn3c","price":29.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0879\/2784\/9264\/files\/fn3c-Square-cover.jpg?v=1782423325","url":"https:\/\/downpour.com\/products\/book-fn3c","provider":"Downpour","version":"1.0","type":"link"}