{"product_id":"book-d4cz","title":"The Princess Beard","description":"\u003cb\u003e\u003cb\u003eThis princess can shave herself!\u003c\/b\u003e The hilarious bestselling authors of \u003ci\u003eKill the Farm Boy \u003c\/i\u003eand \u003ci\u003eNo Country for Old Gnomes \u003c\/i\u003eare back with a new adventure in the irreverent world of Pell.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Once upon a time, a princess slept in a magical tower cloaked in thorns and roses. \u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e When she woke, she found no Prince Charming, only a surfeit of hair and grotesquely long fingernails—which was, honestly, better than some creep who acted without consent. She cut off her long braids and used them to escape. But she kept the beard because it made a great disguise.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e This is not a story about finding true love’s kiss—it's a story about finding yourself. On a pirate ship. Where you belong.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e But these are no ordinary pirates aboard \u003ci\u003eThe Puffy Peach\u003c\/i\u003e, serving under Filthy Lucre, the one-eyed parrot pirate captain. First there’s Vic, a swole and misogynistic centaur on a mission to expunge himself of the magic that causes him to conjure tea and dainty cupcakes in response to stress. Then there’s Tempest, who’s determined to become the first dryad lawyer—preferably before she takes her ultimate form as a man-eating tree. They’re joined by Alobartalus, an awkward and unelfly elf who longs to meet his hero, the Sn’archivist who is said to take dictation directly from the gods of Pell. Throw in some mystery meat and a dastardly capitalist plot, and you’ve got one Pell of an adventure on the high seas!\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e In this new escapade set in the magical land of Pell, Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Hearne lovingly skewer the tropes of fairy tales and create a new kind of fantasy: generous, gently humorous, and inclusive. There might also be otters.","brand":"Penguin Random House","offers":[{"title":"Audiobook","offer_id":49328272769328,"sku":"BDd4cz","price":25.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0879\/2784\/9264\/files\/411023-d4cz-Square.jpg?v=1733712660","url":"https:\/\/downpour.com\/products\/book-d4cz","provider":"Downpour","version":"1.0","type":"link"}