{"product_id":"book-cupm","title":"Southern Lady Code","description":"\u003cb\u003e\u003cb\u003e\"I loved it.\" —Ann Patchett\u003ci\u003e \u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe bestselling author of \u003ci\u003eAmerican Housewife \u003c\/i\u003e(\"Dark, deadpan and truly inventive.\" -\u003ci\u003e-The New York Times Book Review\u003c\/i\u003e) is back with a fiercely funny collection of essays on marriage and manners, thank-you notes and three-ways, ghosts, gunshots, gynecology, and the Calgon-scented, onion-dipped, monogrammed art of living as a Southern Lady.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eHelen Ellis has a mantra: \"If you don't have something nice to say, say something not-so-nice in a nice way.\" Say \"weathered\" instead of \"she looks like a cake left out in the rain.\" Say \"early-developed\" instead of \"brace face and B cups.\" And for the love of Coke Salad, always say \"Sorry you saw something that offended you\" instead of \"Get that stick out of your butt, Miss Prissy Pants.\" In these twenty-three raucous essays Ellis transforms herself into a dominatrix Donna Reed to save her marriage, inadvertently steals a $795 Burberry trench coat, witnesses a man fake his own death at a party, avoids a neck lift, and finds a black-tie gown that gives her the confidence of a drag queen. While she may have left her home in Alabama, married a New Yorker, forgotten how to drive, and abandoned the puffy headbands of her youth, Helen Ellis is clinging to her Southern accent like mayonnaise to white bread, and offering readers a hilarious, completely singular view on womanhood for both sides of the Mason-Dixon.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003ci\u003eSeveral pieces in this collection originally appeared in the following publications: “Making a Marriage Magically Tidy” in the \u003c\/i\u003eNew York Times\u003ci\u003e column “Modern Love” (June 2, 2017); “How to Stay Happily Married” in \u003c\/i\u003ePaper Darts\u003ci\u003e (Winter 2017); “Tonight We’re Gonna Party Like It’s 1979” in \u003c\/i\u003eEating Well\u003ci\u003e (November\/December 2017); “How to Be the Best Guest” as “An American’s Guide to Being the Best Guest” in \u003c\/i\u003eFinancial Times \u003ci\u003e(March 2016); and “When to Write a Thank- You Note” in \u003c\/i\u003eGarden \u0026amp; Gun\u003ci\u003e (February\/March 2018).\u003c\/i\u003e","brand":"Penguin Random House","offers":[{"title":"Audiobook","offer_id":49329297916208,"sku":"BDcupm","price":15.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0879\/2784\/9264\/files\/349494-cupm-Square.jpg?v=1733740221","url":"https:\/\/downpour.com\/products\/book-cupm","provider":"Downpour","version":"1.0","type":"link"}