{"product_id":"book-acm5","title":"What Would Susie Say?","description":"\u003cb\u003eIN \u003ci\u003eWHAT WOULD SUSIE SAY?\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e, Susie Essman sheds the crasser layers to reveal how she went from an anxiety-ridden, struggling stand-up comic to being one of the funniest women on television, playing Susie Greene on HBO's \u003ci\u003eCurb Your Enthusiasm.\u003c\/i\u003e Emerging as one of the most successful performers in her field, Essman goes behind the scenes of a life in comedy with her funny cohorts, including Joy Behar, Rodney Dangerfield, and, of course, Jeff Garlin and Larry David, while also providing sidesplittingly funny wisdom on a range of topics that she's highly unqualified to expound upon, including men, sports, hypochondria, and stepparenthood.  \u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003e \u003cp\u003e \u003cbig\u003e\u003cb\u003eWHAT WOULD SUSIE SAY ABOUT...\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/big\u003e  \u003cbr\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \u003cb\u003eMARRIAGE?\u003c\/b\u003e  \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \"It took me a long time to find the man I was willing to commit myself to. Even the word \u003ci\u003ecommit\u003c\/i\u003e is troublesome. One is committed to a mental institution.\"  \u003cbr\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \u003cb\u003eMEN WITH DOGS?\u003c\/b\u003e  \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \"As a dog lover, I've researched many different breeds and I've begun to realize that you can tell a lot about a person by what breed of dog they choose to associate with. A bit self-conscious about your cellulite? A guy with a shar-pei is for you. They're hard to find, but cheaper than lipo.\"  \u003cbr\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \u003cb\u003eTHE BEAUTY OF MENOPAUSE?\u003c\/b\u003e  \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \"I guess I just have to accept the fact that I'm going to end up a bald, fat, sweaty, irritable woman with a dry vagina and a full beard who never sleeps and has memory loss so I won't even be able to remember how hot I used to look!\"  \u003cbr\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \u003cb\u003eSTEPPARENTHOOD?\u003c\/b\u003e  \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \"My mother used to tell me 'you can't buy your kids' love.' Bullshit. You can, and it's exponential. They're like Russian mail-order brides -- the more you spend, the more they love you.\"  \u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003e \u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003e \u003cb\u003e\u003ci\u003eWHAT WOULD SUSIE SAY?\u003c\/i\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e is Essman's irreverent, refreshingly candid, and hilarious retort to the dubious facts of life that we all face.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Simon \u0026 Schuster Audio","offers":[{"title":"Audiobook","offer_id":49348161798448,"sku":"BDacm5","price":17.95,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Audio CD [40]","offer_id":49348161831216,"sku":"40acm5","price":29.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0879\/2784\/9264\/files\/140946-acm5-Square.jpg?v=1734214060","url":"https:\/\/downpour.com\/products\/book-acm5","provider":"Downpour","version":"1.0","type":"link"}